Okay, so things didn't exactly go according to plan at the 400 th episode of OVW TV last week� But how was I supposed to know that someone was going to come up with the ludicrous concept of a �Loser-Gets-Paddled' 8-girl tag match� And that I was going to get stuck with a bunch of under-skilled, under-brained and downright pathetic cowards as my team mates..? They technically threw me to the wolves once they realized they couldn't get the job done- and there was no way I could defend myself alone against four crazed female dawgs baying for my blood like that. I mean, it was a numbers game. And let's be honest, every one of them hates me, because they all want to be me- after all, I am the Queen of England, the Women's Champ and the most fascinating creature in OVW (and probably the world, certainly Kentucky). I can assure you, it's cold, windy and very, very lonely when you're at the top of your game. But I guess that's just my cross to bear...

As for ODB paddling my ass like her life depended on it- who'd have thunk the Obnoxious One was the kinky sort? I mean, that's fine, I'm open minded, but the One Dirty had better not dare ever, ever lay her hands on me like that again. If I wanted to be mauled by a dawg- I'd have got my big bad Rottweiler Lucky (short for Lucifer�) to take care of business. In fact, he could probably teach her a trick or two. That aside, this week she will find that this particular can of worms had better been left unopened. If I were her I would stay far, far away from me and, more than anything, keep that paddle way out of my sight.

On a separate note- I'd like to take a few minutes to comment on the �Run for the Roses' match. First of all, who makes the rules for this thing? Clearly Paul Burchill won that match. He was the one to make it up that pole and grab the roses off of it. What exactly did Cody Runnels do to make him eligible for a title shot? Yeah, I'll tell you what, a great big nothing. He showed just about enough athletic ability to pick the Golden Envelope up off the mat after, by fluke , it fell into the ring. And if my eyes weren't deceiving me (which they weren't because everything about me is perfect) he wasn't even the first to see and jump on it- it was Shawn Spears! So Cody betrayed not only Paul Burchill but his own tag team partner as well!

Speaking of which- I could say I told you so. Seeing as Spearsy is now the TV Champion and therefore the more successful team member of the two, it was only going to be a matter of time before the green-eyed monster (that's jealousy for all you morons out there) reared it's ugly head on Cody's part. So there we have it. Cody is finally showing his true colors and proved last week that he is willing to tread on bodies to win the Championship. In the plus column, if by another chance accident he actually manages to get to the top, I don't think he has the mental fortitude to stay there very long. But at the end of the day I really don't give a Jim Ross about him or Shawn Spears so I'm done worrying my pretty little head about it- in the meantime, I have bigger fish to fry.

To see me get my revenge on The One I Hate The Most, beat her to a pulp and make her wish she never lived, tune into the CW at 11pm this Saturday. Be there!

Until then� Bite me, Fanboy. The Queen.

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Confessions of a Queen 5
Okay, so things didn't exactly go according to plan at the 400 th episode of OVW TV last week� But how was I supposed to know that someone was going to come up with the ludicrous concept of a �Loser-Gets-Paddled' 8-girl tag match� And that I was going to get stuck with a bunch of under-skilled, under-brained and downright pathetic cowards as my team mates..? They technically threw me to the wolves once they realized they couldn't get the job done- and there was no way I could defend myself alone against four crazed female dawgs baying for my blood like that. I mean, it was a numbers game. And let's be honest, every one of them hates me, because they all want to be me- after all, I am the Queen of England, the Women's Champ and the most fascinating creature in OVW (and probably the world, certainly Kentucky). I can assure you, it's cold, windy and very, very lonely when you're at the top of your game. But I guess that's just my cross to bear... As for ODB paddling my ass like her life depended on it- who'd have thunk the Obnoxious One was the kinky sort? I mean, that's fine, I'm open minded, but the One Dirty had better not dare ever, ever lay her hands on me like that again. If I wanted to be mauled by a dawg- I'd have got my big bad Rottweiler Lucky (short for Lucifer�) to take care of business. In fact, he could probably teach her a trick or two. That aside, this week she will find that this particular can of worms had better been left unopened. If I were her I would stay far, far away from me and, more than anything, keep that paddle way out of my sight. On a separate note- I'd like to take a few minutes to comment on the �Run for the Roses' match. First of all, who makes the rules for this thing? Clearly Paul Burchill won that match. He was the one to make it up that pole and grab the roses off of it. What exactly did Cody Runnels do to make him eligible for a title shot? Yeah, I'll tell you what, a great big nothing. He showed just about enough athletic ability to pick the Golden Envelope up off the mat after, by fluke , it fell into the ring. And if my eyes weren't deceiving me (which they weren't because everything about me is perfect) he wasn't even the first to see and jump on it- it was Shawn Spears! So Cody betrayed not only Paul Burchill but his own tag team partner as well! Speaking of which- I could say I told you so. Seeing as Spearsy is now the TV Champion and therefore the more successful team member of the two, it was only going to be a matter of time before the green-eyed monster (that's jealousy for all you morons out there) reared it's ugly head on Cody's part. So there we have it. Cody is finally showing his true colors and proved last week that he is willing to tread on bodies to win the Championship. In the plus column, if by another chance accident he actually manages to get to the top, I don't think he has the mental fortitude to stay there very long. But at the end of the day I really don't give a Jim Ross about him or Shawn Spears so I'm done worrying my pretty little head about it- in the meantime, I have bigger fish to fry. To see me get my revenge on The One I Hate The Most, beat her to a pulp and make her wish she never lived, tune into the CW at 11pm this Saturday. Be there! Until then� Bite me, Fanboy. The Queen.
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